2025 first quarter#

I've wanted to write a few posts in the last three months, but never had the opportunity. Now that March is over and I have some time and brain availability, let's do a recap for the first quarter of the year.

About art#

David Lynch died mid-January. Despite not being deep into his work I was deeply afflicted by his death. In the age of art made to fill social media, where artists need to become brands and act as influencers, Lynch felt to me like a beacon of creative sincerity.

I watched documentaries and interviews he gave, and loved every one of them. He spoke in such a positive and practical way of the joys of doing art. Write ideas before your forget them. Suffering doesn't make it better. Art requires time and space, and so it will preclude some things in our lives. Daydreaming is important.

I'm trying to remember and apply all this while time pushes me closer to late May where I will expose my work publicly for the first time. I've been randomly drafted for the "scab fair" in my city and since, I haven't done a lot of progress on the dozen of pieces I want to expose.

I'm not pressuring myself too much, but at the same time I kinda want to expose my universe and it won't happen if I don't push myself a little bit. Oh well, we'll see.

Spaces#

Mid-February I took a solo vacation, almost two weeks in a small cottage in one of the prettiest parts of France. Almost everything was closed or empty, which gave an eerie feeling, but also felt very relaxing.

I visited a few things, eat good meals, walked on forestry hills, and rested a lot. I prepared the list of pieces I want to expose in an excel file, draw a little bit, read a book, took coffees under the pale and cold winter sun.

When I came back home, I felt extremely overwhelmed and overstimulated by the number of things in my environment, and I needed space. We emptied cabinets and wardrobes, got rid of furniture, did some renovation. It felt good. It's not over yet, but will be soon.

I also went back to the gym with a strength dedicated program. It gave my whole body a physical shock (and the pain associated) that lasted for weeks. I'm feeling good now, my back and shoulders are less painful than they used to be. I'm also changing physically, which feels strange and pleasant a the same time. And for some reason, the gym as a space feels less alienating when you visit it with a clear goal.

New job, new me#

I've been working as an employee again since early March and it's going well. I went back to the first company I worked for when I started web development in 2015. They needed someone with my skills, I needed a job, both of us didn't want to do job interviews and technical tests, perfect fit.

Most of my job for the first month has been documenting, fixing and helping my colleagues on UI and UX issues. I barely wrote code, but wrote a lot of documentation and guidelines. It's been strange to go back to the same place with mostly the same people, and see how everything is mostly the same, and that I am the one who has changed.

Back then I was an enthusiastic idealist junior dev/designer who would push its unreasonable design and tech expectations to projects and people not always fit to receive them, to the point of hurting myself and others.

Now I'm the pragmatic senior dev/designer just trying to add a little bit of ergonomics and visual cohesion in projects who have budgets for it, while taking steps to avoid any misunderstanding or conflict with my colleagues, and training others in my expertise, slowly.

Yeah, I've changed quite a bit.

AI storm is coming#

I've long been against AI, even for coding. But in the last few months, even non-influencers developers I follow and respect had to bend and use it. Nolan Lawson's testimony is a prime example of the positive (productivity) and negative (it sucks out the joy) sides of the experience.

It is coming at my new job too, and I understand the argument. We're a small agency. Clients want more code for less time. Other agencies might go full AI and cut prices, leaving us behind. We have to at least try it, and we will. I'm glad I'll do it in my terms, surrounded by skilled engineers who, I hope, will be able to asses if it really helps us as a company.

Still, I can't help to be worried. Even Microsoft admitted that AI is making us dumb and we're losing skill. What about the tech dependency? Juniors training? What if prices become unreasonable? Social warfare on workers? Data security? Ethical issues? So many unknowns and yet we have to do it.

It truly feels like a race to the bottom we are all forced to run.

Other things#

• Stopped my freelance shop, I won't take clients for side gigs while I am employed due to my contract, not that I particularly want to.
• My partner is now recognized as disabled person, she will get a pension from the state, and thus will focus on healing.
• I broke up with a lover. It was painful, messy, even ugly in the end but necessary. Learned a lot and won't do the same mistakes.
• I have to use Windows 11 at work, it sucks so much. Bugs everywhere, and the feeling isn't right.
• Website rewrite in Golang is progressing slowly. A bit frustrated by the pace but I want to do it properly.
• I was super hyped by the game Caves of Qud after listening to a podcast about it, but my English level wasn't high enough and I had to refund it. :(